She Stands... Bold - Heidi Wyborn
Do you remember when you got up and walked for the very first time? That moment in your life when you took your very first steps. Initially it’s frustrating and takes a while to complete this complex operation effortlessly. The balancing act of keeping everything upright and stable would’ve taken some pretty huge self-talk from inside of us.
The yes, I can get up. The taking the first few steps not knowing if we would stay upright or not. Taking our first steps into a realm of unknown.
Though we were bold enough to know that through perseverance comes breakthrough and ultimately freedom. How bold we were! We had no fear of the unknown cause everything as a child is unknown.
That boldness inside is pushed to the back of our consciousness and doubt is welcomed in. The doubt of, oh if I do that it will hurt. If I take that step I may fall.
In 2003, my life was turned upsidedown by one phone call. The words on that call pierced my soul, they were: “You are not having your daughter back until she gets to at least high school.” My daughter was in first grade.
Those words were spoken to me by my mother. I froze on the spot and could hear the blood flowing through my body and my ears and head were able to remind me that my heart was beating. In that moment I had a decision. I could retreat and say ok then I’ll call you back around 2007 and see how it’s all going. But I didn’t.
I arose and decided to fight for my daughter even though my battle was going to be against my mother and my sister. The only family I had. I roared like a lioness roars for her lost cubs. I stood up in the courtroom at family court in Sydney and walked to that witness box. Legs shaking, ears reminding me again that my heart was beating and sat in the witness box in front of my mother and sister and their lawyer and proceeded my fight for my cub.
I sat in the witness box for two days. My boldness oozing in and out. Wishing I had never started my fight. Wishing I could flee. Being accused of being an unsupportive mother and being told I didn’t deserve to be a mum. Though I came to a realisation. If not now, when? When would I get the courage? When would I get the boldness to stand up for something I believed in again if I didn’t start now?
Did I hear that voice strong and loud in my head, run away this is going to hurt? Run away, you’re going to lose anyway. Run away, you’re going to lose your daughter and family. Every single day for three years, I heard that voice. Very loudly and very clearly.
Though there was a small faint voice that broke through. “You are strong. You are fearless. You are wise”. “You can. You will. I am here.” By being bold and standing for what I believed in, my daughter came home April 2nd, three years after my fight began.
And a new boldness began. A boldness that has helped me stand up for myself, my beliefs, my family, my friends and my community. All it took for me was my first few steps. Shaking? Yes. Though as I did it and I kept stepping forward not unlike the first steps of a child I become bolder and confident and do it now more proficiently and with a sense of freedom knowing that I am backed and cheered on by my Heavenly Father.
Proverbs 28:1 “The wicked flee though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.” The voice of self-doubt can be and mostly is crippling. Though when we get the revelation that God is with us. His voice is there encouraging us, and his hand is stretched out wanting us to grab it, so HE can be the one to steady us when we became unstable on our feet and in our faith.
Drown out the voice of self-doubt. The voice of I can’t. It will hurt. One of my favorite quotes says: “Rise like Lions after slumber in unvanquished number- Shake your chains to earth like dew, which in sleep had fallen on you. You are many- they are few.” Rise up and be Bold. Rise up and shake this earth with YOUR ROAR. Even if your roar shakes a little when you first start.
Just remember - stay bold and in everything remember you are not alone, He (GOD) is always with us.
Love Heidi xx